The sports connection to Cheryl Cole will go away when she finally divorces cheating soccer star Ashley Cole, and that's too bad for us in the sports-tits crossover industry.  Until that happens, here's Cheryl on tour with Girls Aloud, her merry band of minstrel wenches.  I have never heard one of their songs.  I am okay with that.  You can see them all in black fishnets here, and in PVC corsets here.  You can probably find their songs somewhere online, too.  What am I, the GD phone book?

[Kickette] 

At this point the Boston press is probably just making shit up to keep the gossip about Pats QB Tom Brady and girlfriend Gisele Bundchen alive.  But whatever man, I'm just here for the boobs.  Gisele's got boobs, right?  Cool.  We'll move forward then.  Apparently Brady said he wants her to wear the Wonder Woman outfit.  Perv.

He said: "I want her to wear the Wonder Woman outfit."

Gisele revealed she would consider wearing the gold-starred pants and red corset, but worries it may expose too much of her body.

She laughed: "I would like to wear a Wonder Woman costume, but it would probably be too revealing."

This chick knows she's a lingerie model, right?  And that we've already seen her boobs?  That's like Tera Patrick telling you she wants to take it slow.  It's like, don't tell me you're not ready for second base when I just went online and saw you folded like origami in a sex dungeon.

Here's Mariners first baseman Richie Sexson reacting to a high pitch down the middle of the plate in Seattle's 5-0 loss to the Rangers last night.  I guess this was supposed to fire up his teammates to score some runs, but really the only way he helped the team was by getting thrown out of the game and not making another plate appearance. 

There's not really a point to firing up your teammates when they all suck anyway.  And even if they didn't suck they'd probably sit on the bench because the manager sucks or get traded away because the general manager sucks.  They're just the suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck.  Oh yeah, and I cheer for them.  Fucking hooray.  Go team.

[Bugs and Cranks] 

NBA -- The forces of bland consistency won't go down without a technically well-executed fight. Yeah, at least it's not the unwatchable mess that is the Celtics and the Cavs. CP3 and TP3x3 had quite the showdown, with Chris Paul leading scoring with 35 points to go with nine assists, while Tony Parker countered with 31 points to share the team high with Manu Ginobili. A lot was made of the fact that the Hornets had handed the Spurs their worst regular season loss at home, but San Antonio was able to pull away late in the 3rd to extend its home playoff win streak to 10 and avoid going down 3-0 in the series.

In Boston, Bron-Bron might have gotten Clevelanders cheap pizza yesterday, but he might want to start making some shots at some point in this series. James went 6-of-24 to go with another seven turnovers and Ben Wallace staggered off the court with a dizzy spell four minutes into the game and didn't return.  But, yeah, the Celtics seemed so vulnerable a few days ago.

NHL -- The top-seed Red Wings got three power play goals to blow past the Stars 4-1 in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals in Detroit. Brenden Morrow, who came up huge with two overtime goals in the previous round, netted the Stars' only goal.  The Red Wings have never lost a playoff series to the Stars, so I guess we can stop writing about this one, huh?  

MLB -- D-back's Brandon Webb throws his 13th career complete game in a 8-3 win over the Phillies to improve to 8-0. Brett Myers allowed six earned in five innings, sooo ya might want to sleep at your sister's house tonight, Mrs. Myers...The Yankees got homers mostly from guys hitting under .200 to avoid a sweep in Cleveland.  So all's gravy, now, huh?...Pirates wrap up three-game sweep of the Giants. Might as well bag it in Buccos.  All downhill from here.  Great success!...Richie Sexson charges the mound in a futile attempt to make Rangers 5-0 win over Mariners interesting.

"Saint Andrew's Net" is With Leather's daily link dump, written by the bane of respectable journos and scrupulous primates alike, Michael Tunison. Expect sports and tits.

• Bugs And Cranks uncovers a video of the late Myron Cope making guttural rap-like sounds to the tune of "Can't Touch This". Double what?
  
• Busted Coverage delivers pics of the Lakers Sasha Vujacic getting giddy with a geriatric groupie. Be sure to take her out for a strawberry phosphate, Sasha, but don't get too fresh!
• Deadspin brings us LeBron James reinforcing stereotypes (that uncharismatic superstars are poor tippers) by leaving a $10 gratuity on a $800 restaurant tab. But he usually bucks such trends, with witnesses that actually testify and all.
  
• On 205th previews the big cheerleader convention in Atlanta next month. Unless zippable blindfolds (NSFW ads) are involved, count me out.
• Joe Sports Fan remixes the beheading of Mr. Redlegs. You delighted in his injury through song! I love it when people do that. 

 Send your submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com.

Vin Scully's fitting call of this home run in the Mets' 12-1 drubbing of the Dodgers: "...that baby is going up into the seats."

Well, not quite.  Turns out the fan who caught the ball held onto his infant.  I'm no parenting expert, but I'm great at telling other people how to raise their kids, so I don't recommend fully extending while trying to catch a 380-foot blast if you're holding your baby in your other arm.  Well, unless you hate your baby.  Then do whatever you like.  Hell, if the home run's going over your head, toss the kid up there to see if it can deflect the ball into your hands.  What has that baby ever done for you anyway?

[FanIQ]